What a year 2020 has been…
Where do you even start! this has been a rollercoaster year for everyone. From lockdowns to race masks we have had it all.
I read somewhere that suicide rates had been higher in August 2020 than that of Covid-19 deaths and that really hit hard with me. I have suffered with mental health issues for years now and no amount of counselling or talking helped and in the end I had to resort to medication in order to make my life better. If you take medication for any mental health conditions that does not make you any less of a person at all! For me it makes you a better person for admitting you are struggling and that you needed help. Men especially can take note from this post!
There is nothing macho or good about suffering inside personally. I would know I have been there, I have been that man that said nothing was wrong but when you start to fight your own mind that is one of the hardest struggles you can face and for me I did everything I could legally to try and silence those demons but it did work. I was drinking more to relax but that was increasing my anxiety levels and making me more depressed. So what was the solution….
I am known for trying to deal with things myself; even my school reports from year 5 said that “Steven must ask for help when needed” but I am not that type of person and still aren’t. I deal with things myself the best way I can but for once I knew I needed help from someone else.
I first turned to my parents for the first time in my life and said I needed help for my mental health. I was struggling and not in a great place mentally or physically. I was recently divorced and that added to my misery. I wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it was like the light was being put out on me and not there.
I wont go into specifics otherwise this blog post will be huge but to sumarise. I saw my doctor was referred to CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that didn’t work for me but I did take away the 80/20 rule and I am grateful for that. Back to the doctors and SIC (Short Interval Control) was on the agenda but once again all the knowledge that has gone into this technique was not helpful for me and rather trivial to be honest. Like trying to teach someone to suck eggs but I persevered and completed the course which gave me no advantage.
This time at the doctors there wasn’t a course of treatment offered but medication (drugs to help) now we are talking!
I had done my research and I knew there were 2 main drugs, Sertraline and Citalopram. I didn’t have a preference on which but the doctor started me on Citalopram. The maximum dose for that is 40mg so I started on 20mg but after a few weeks I knew inside I needed the 40mg, so up to the max it was…
I took Citalopram for a few years until it thought like my body had become used to it (like a lot of medication) so it was time for a change and you guessed it, Sertraline was on the menu. This drug goes up to 200mg in normal circumstances so I opted for 50mg, on the lower side but yes I needed to up it to 100mg which I still take to this day!!
Anyone who thinks they are struggling with their mental health please seek help or talk to someone at least. The initial release can help but if it doesn’t there are plenty of next step options available. No one should be ashamed be that man or woman, it’s a part of life that many of us can’t control and just happened. There may be a trigger but that is irrelevant once you begin to suffer!!
I feel like I am under control now and my plan suit me. If any one and I mean that! Please reach out to me if you need to on any platform you have. Be that WordPress, Instagram, Facebook or if you comment and need my number that’s no problem.